wtf halloween?

Oh hey there Halloween! When did you get here? Better question, where the eff do you get off? Yeah you heard me, you smug holiday chameleon. Why is it that every year you seem to think you’re a bigger and better holiday than you were the year before? Running around, all hopped up on pixie stix, like you own the place. Someone needs an attitude check.

When I was in elementary school, your sole purpose was to let kids dress up as their favorite character and eat as much candy as possible. Those were the good old days. Clicking down the street in home-made ruby slippers, leaving a trail of red glitter like Hansel and Gretel’s disco tranny cousin, and sorting out the candy that could be opened and re-closed since it was “probably poisoned.” Thank you mom for that crucial life lesson- everyone knows that Tootsie Rolls are nothing more than a vehicle for neighborhood-kid-killing poison.

Then before I knew it Halloween wasn’t about candy anymore, it was about a “candy” of the Mandy-Moore-song variety. Bam! 8th grade hit and from what I could tell the most popular costume was “Statutory Rape Bait.”  To this day I don’t understand how girls in my class made it out of the house dressed like they did for Halloween. My parents would have had a kanipsh.

Now in my early 20’s, it seems like my options for a costume are  depressingly limited. Unless I make something from scratch- I basically have a choice between “Slutty [insert blue collar job here]”  or a Giant M&M. Awesome. What’s doubly awesome, is that thanks to this plethora of costumes to pick from, the Halloween-powers-that-be have unwittingly divided all women in America into 4 categories:

1. a young slut

2. a mom, a spinster or fat

3. a mom/spinster or fatty that still tries to fit into the costumes meant for group one 

4. Young, non-repulsive girls that don’t want to walk around in their underwear, yet don’t want to wear the giant M&M costume, ala group 2.

All my ladies in group #4 can I get an effing AMEN?! Every year, I find myself searching for the elusive “fourth group costume” to no avail.  So here’s to all the girls repping the 4th group as Robots, Giant Pieces of Bacon and Grapes. Sure we slaved over our glue guns and sewing machines for hours just to look like a kindergartner’s art box exploded on our AmericanApparel tank and leggings – but it’s sure as hell better than a slutty cop.

Happy Halloween

I got a love that keeps me waiting

Today is a GREAT day. Black Keys released the first single off of their new album El Camino, and it’s had me chair-dancing all morning. The album drops in December and a little bird told me to look out for a possible repeat NYE show at the Aragon this year.

If you’ve never celebrated New Years by going to a concert, I highly recommend you try it. You can keep pretending that your overpriced drink package and inevitable night of disappointment is a great way to ring in the new year, but I prefer to do it sweaty and dancing-like-a-fool to a rockin’ band like the Keys. 

Click. Listen. Get Down.

Raise Your Weapon

Life Lesson of the Day:

You can never be too old to dance your ass off at a DJ show with your friends.*

*You may be be too old to accomplish anything productive the next day.

Deadmau5 @ The Aragon Ballroom

Post-Mau5 Group Shot

One thing that has noticeably changed after graduation is the amount of shows I get to see with my friends. Columbia, MO had the distinct honor of being the only city between St. Louis and Kansas City worth stopping in- which meant that nearly every artist or band going east or west through MO had a convenient one night stay. So, lucky Mizzou students like us had the opportunity to catch a good concert at least once a week, usually more. And, thanks to the box office in the campus bookstore, tickets could be conveniently student charged paid for with all the extra money you had lying around as an undergrad. Some of my personal highlights were Grizzly Bear, Surfer Blood, The Decemberists, Ghostland Observatory, Turbofruits, Bassnectar, the list goes on and on.

Cut to post-grad where we all work 5 days a week and concert tickets cost real money, which means when we can all get together and catch a great show it is an occasion. Which is exactly what happened this weekend at the Deadmau5 show at the Aragon Ballroom. Deadmau5 gave the BEST show of the 3 I’ve seen complete with a killer DJ set from Tommy Lee and sex bomb vocals fom Sofi. My only regret is that we missed the opening set from Feedme. Sure, I was a complete waste of space the entire next day, but who cares? We came. We raged. We paid for it the next day. At 23 I’m completely aware that everything costs something. And what could be more worth it than a kick ass time with my friends in the best city on earth? …I’ll give you a minute on that one.

I wanna rock your gypsy soul

Listening to: “Into The Mystic” -Van Morrison

The rain clouds have finally parted over the skyline of Chicago revealing a sunny city, sizzling with the changing autumn leaves. For the first time, it feels like the midwest fall I know and love. If you’ve ever lived in a midwestern city like Chicago, you know that every season has a distinct energy -or lack of... ugh “spring,” how we love pretending you exist. 

Every year, when May rolls around and the sidewalks, bike paths and beaches fill with people and their uncanny amount of pets –seriously where do you people keep your farm of dogs all winter?– it seems as though the city has never felt more alive. And then October comes. Reluctant to let go of yet another amazing Chicago summer, but even more determined not to waste a second of tolerable weather before the inevitable hell of winter, you can count on Chicagoans to make the most of fall. I love seeing the college colors rolled out at every bar in Lincoln Park, drinking coffee as it was meant to be drank- hot, and having to check the weather before grabbing a jacket. But what I love most about this change of seasons, is compiling the motherload of fall playlists. Normally I would do this myself, but a friend of mine created an Autumn playlist on Spotify that is just too good to mess with.  And you lucky ducks can download it here! I’ve had Van Morrison’s Into The Mystic on repeat for days while I sip skinny caramel lattes and try not to spill on my favorite scarves. TGIFall.

Obsession: “We Found Love” music video

It has been a while since I’ve watched a music video and thought “WHOA.” Probably due to the fact that the music-to-crap ratio on VH1 and MTV has weighed in favor of “crap” for the better part of ten years. Which would also explain why I found this gem online. Thank you internetsss. Roomie #2 shared this with me yesterday over gchat a conversation we had at home after work, and I have had it on repeat for the last 48. I just can’t get enough of  her hottie video boyfriend and their self destructive relationship. Doesn’t everyone want to smoke rainbow cigarettes and roll around in the mud at a concert without getting your denim cutoffs dirty? Even my grumpy friend (everyone has one) said it was “good… for a dead artform” – which basically means everyone else will LOVE it. I know I do.